gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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