I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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