Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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