whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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