She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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