You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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