yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
