Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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