I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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