But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
