I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You are the jesus of drinking
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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