Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
