So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
