I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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