Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
