my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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