this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
