Whod you bang
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
two words: eviction party
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
