Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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