Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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