is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize