My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
