if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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