You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
