So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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