i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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