FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
