Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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