Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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