I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
