absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
