He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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