so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
