I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
