it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
