she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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