Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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