im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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