NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize