DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize