just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize