i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
