Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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