new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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