I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
