all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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