i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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