I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
