I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
