Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
