Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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