I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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