And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're a waste of cheezeits
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize