i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
