He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
