dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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