Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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