What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
