I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
