Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
